I am in pain.
Everyday I see him, I am in pain. I love him.
I don’t want to love him. It is forbidden. Yet I do.

I want it to be me he laughs with,
Me he vents to,
Me he confides in,
Me he loves.

But no.
This society closes me in.
Makes me hide, and wear masks.
I am disgusted with how the world works.

Love god, love others as you would yourself?
Tell that to them who ridicule a boy because he asked another boy to prom.
Tell that to the girl, crying in silence for a relationship gone wrong with her girlfriend.
Tell that to me, who loves the boy that sings and dances, and smiles at me.

I am in so much pain.
I love him, but I don’t want to love him.
He would never love me.
Society will never let him love me.

I do not want my heart.
I wish I could rip it out,
because this pain hurts so much.

I love him.
I want him to love me.
Simple? Hell no.

I am done hiding.
I am done with society’s rules.

So hurt me, ridicule me.
Call me names, and kick me in the dirt.
Hate me.

I hated me, because I wasn’t true to myself.
I hid, and put on the mask for you all.
But I am done.

He may hate me for loving him, for knowing that I do.
But at least I will no longer hate me.